Summer is Here! Get FREE NEXT WORKING DAY DELIVERY and a Chance to Win a Swingball!*

At last Summer has arrived, just in time for the Summer holidays.  But make the most of it, as it might not last so get your garden holiday ready now with FREE NEXT WORKING DAY DELIVERY from  

To celebrate this amazing offer every 50th order will also receive a FREE All Surface Swingball (for a limited time only!), worth £29.99, so you can double the fun in your garden with a competitive game for two that can be played on any surface.

And if that’s not enough see the below great money off deals…

Early Fun Play Table – now half price!
Multi-activity table with 2 bench seats, perfect for creative play, indoors and out. Was £45, now £22.50


TP Straight Slide with Extension
Two-metre slide with safety handrail and non-slip steps.Was £91.50 now £49.99

 Forest Multi-Play

The Forest Multiplay wood playset includes a double swing arm with a two child glide ride and is supplied complete with slide. Was £349 and is now £249

Wooden Single Multiplay

Includes super fun wavy slide and single swing seat. Was £249 and is now £199


A fun and dynamic two seater glide ride. The Duo Ride is child accelerated – so no need to push! Was £65 and is now £45

Trapeze Bar and Rings
Great way to build strength and 

challenge older children. Was £24.95 and is now £10

7ft Zoomee SurroundSafe™ Trampoline

The 7ft TP Zoomee trampoline has a compact frame with a spacious jump area, so perfect for smaller garden sizes. Was £199 and is now £159

Forest Tower

The Forest Tower wooden climbing frame includes a double swing arm with a two child glide ride (maximum weight 45 kg per ride) and a swing seat with adjustable ropes. Was £530 and is now £430

Garden Games Set

Includes a height adjustable 10ft net – ideal for Short Tennis, Badminton or childrens’ Volleyball. Plus a Jumping pole including 2 uprights with calibrated height adjustment and easy read measure for high jump.  Was £44.95 and is now £19.99

As well as amazing savings on these products, TP Toys is now offering free next working day delivery on all orders so you can kit out your garden in no time**!

*for a limited time only
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TP Toys are sold by

Is It Just Me: Who Thinks NBC Suck?

Ah, the Olympics. Such a great chance for us to show off the excellent sportsmen and women of around the globe. (Notice I don’t say “of the UK there? Cos we suck).

Did you watch the Opening Ceremony? I did, and, apparently, so did 27 million other people round the world. It’s nice to know that whether you were drinking a cuppa in the UK in your jim jams, or waking up in Oz and considering a swim, you could watch it in it’s entirety.

Except, of course, if you happened to be watching the coverage on NBC in America.

You see, NBC have made a monumental and quite frankly disgraceful error in judgement when it came to its decision of what to cut from the show. I know it was 4 hours long, but if the rest of us could deal with it (even the slower bits like the Industrial Revolution bit where Kenneth Branagh just grinned a lot and did the Shakespeare thing), then why on earth couldn’t they?

It’s not just the fact they cut a segment out though. Its what segment they decided to cut.

There were any other number of bits this channel could have omitted. Like the ironic love in to the NHS. I did fall about laughing on behalf of NHS staff everywhere when they put that bit in to a show which has cost shed loads, seen as that’s money most folk would be right in thinking would have been better spent on the NHS itself.

Or the bit with the flags of the nations competing. Seriously, could they not just mix any teams with less than 15 members into one handy team? I saw tweets from people asking whether certain countries had been made up.

No, the bit NBC cut from was a moving tribute to the victims of the July 7th Bombings in London, which as everyone knows took place the day after we were awarded the Olympics.

How dare they!

They cut to an interview with Master of cheese Ryan bloody Seacrest! 

Again, the bloody cheek!

Can you imagine the collective anger that would rightly be unleashed by Americans should, say, the BBC decide to cut from a tribute to the 9/11 attacks to interview Cheryl Cole? They’d go batshit crazy. You wouldn’t expect them not to.

I’m no big fan of Emeli Sande, or her musical stylings, but performing Abide with Me to those who lost their lives (due to us being in a war the American Government, specifically Bush started on his Daddies behalf and which we should never have joined in with as it was all a load of tosh in the first place  part of the Afghanistan war on Terror) was something which, in a high tempo and otherwise happy celebration, a brave but fitting tribute.

According to one of their mouthpieces, it was simply because “the tribute wasn’t tailored to a US audience“. 

Pardon me? That’s your excuse?

You may as well have said “if its not people from the US involved in epic horror, pain and death, we couldn’t give a flying feck”. 

In the UK, we watched your ceremonies to the 9/11 attacks, as every single name was read out during the years, right up until last years dedication ceremony. We Brits could have said “that’s not about us, its not tailored to us”, but we didn’t. We cried with those who had lost a loved one.

NBC- shame on you! 

I’d love to hear what they have to say by way of apology, not just to the UK in general but to those who lost members of their family in 7/7 and those who were caught up in the blasts too.

What do you think?

Katie Price: Do Shut Up

There’s nothing I like more than a bit of peace, a cup of coffee, and a read of the papers. It’s something I used to do every day, but now I have less peace and quiet to read anything, so am left with reading the Teletext service instead.

I do, however, still buy papers on Sunday. I can’t be bothered with every high brow broadsheet as it’s Sunday and frankly you need one day where you don’t have to read about depressing economical news, or how bad our government is getting. So I read The Sun on a Sunday, as it’s full of nothing but trashy celebs. It’s a point and laugh exercise.

They do make me giggle that they have tried to go a bit more high brow by getting columnists in. I laugh because one of the columnists columns couldn’t be less high brow if she tried.

Step forward Jordan, or Katie Price as she refers to herself when not getting her baps out  she feels like it. For quite a while now since the death of the News of the World, Katie has been using the services of a ghost writer writing a column filled with her opinions on everything from politics to Amy Childs. Sometimes, she surprises me that she can put forward a sensible argument- she is currently campaigning for her eldest child’s Independent School to remain open, and she writes with admirable passion.

However, some opinions shared by Ms Price just make me laugh out loud as it would appear Katie has never heard of irony.

Take this weekend.

Katie had a small story on how lots of Mum’s now feel pressured to look good at the school gate by the Yummy Mummy faction. Apparently, these preened women are getting up at 6am, plastering on the make up and giving scant regard to the needs of their kids in pursuit of being “catwalk ready” for the school run. It intimidates other Mums, cried Katie. They should all get jobs, she printed in bold print. (With no word on how we would go about finding these jobs to fit around school, holidays from school, and the cost of childcare).

Now, coming from anyone else, this may have been a well written piece and may have been something I’d have nodded at. But it’s written by Jordan, a woman so obsessed with perfection that she barely resembles herself ten years ago.


How dare she bemoan Mum’s like me who like to put on clean clothes and a bit of make up before 8.30am. According to Katie, I should follow her lead and wear barely clean trackie bottoms and no make up (God knows how scary that must be for the kids and Mums to see what all that surgery looks like sans slap). 

What makes it even more comical than the fact this woman has spent hundreds of thousands of pounds on cosmetic surgery, has had countless boob jobs, botox, fillers and hair extensions is that she admits that she hardly ever gets to drop her kids off at school as she’s “busy”. So how the hell would she know?

She also complains bitterly that most school gate Mum’s at her kids schools don’t talk to her, she feels, because she doesn’t get dressed up to the nines of a morning (you know, when she’s not too busy to drop the kids at school). What a load of tosh. Has she ever considered the possibility that the reason they find it difficult to talk to her because, for the past 10 years she has documented every part of her ever changing anatomy, and her life, including weddings, divorces and giving birth on the telly? Seriously, love, are you kidding me? 

Frankly, she’d probably hate me on the school run. I always have clean hair, my clothes will be freshly washed and ironed, and I may not plaster on make up but I do wear it. Likewise, both the Bratlings leave the house tidy, clean and with, in Mini’s case homework all ready in her reading folder. Being suitably dressed for the school run never means my kids are late for school, or don’t get quality time with me of a morning, its called time management. Like making up lunchboxes and getting clothes out and and ready the night before.

So, Katie, get back in your box, shut up, and perhaps next time you take the kids to school, don’t bring a bloody TV production company with you.

Bad parenting for putting on a bit of make up in the morning? I think parading your kids on TV almost from the moment of conception, the divorces, the partying, and the general circus that is your life is much worse. Not to mention the grief they will get at school when their peers Google your name.

Mix Tapes of Yester Year and the Two Finger Manoeuvre

As some may know who follow my Twitter feed (which has been quiet of late due to the one handed typing due to splint), Elder and I finally have a car. A mini. I love it.

Its nice to be able to get out of the boring town we live in and pop over to towns which actually have shops. Its also nice to have the stereo on and listen to CDs again, as we have recently been more of a media player or YouTube for music household. Even though we have stacks of CDs and thousands of records.

Some of the CDs have been from years back, and many are home made with the tunes we were listening to at that time. It means all sorts of long forgotten memories have resurfaced.

It also made me think of the tapes we all used to pass round at school, and how this generation simply wont know the joy of a friend making you a mix tape. I can’t be the only one who remembers the days of being a teen and a new album coming out?

Well, were I went to school, most of us had little money, and our parent’s weren’t made of money either. Its not like now when everyone has an expensive phone and an Ipod. If you had a CD Walkman you were considered pretty much a lottery winner in my day! I remember the first time someone brought a mobile in to school and most of us being absolutely green with envy. Even a Pager was considered cool back then.

So, when you knew a new album was out from a fave band, you all wanted it, but if, like me, you had a measly after school job paying just over a £1 an hour (£13.10 a week!) you had to save up. Of course, £13 would have easily covered an album, but what with buying Smash Hits, having money for chips at school, and the odd bar of Dairy Milk from the Tuck Shop, £13 went nowhere. Even less so if you wanted a top or jeans off the market. 

The alternative was to wait patiently until the mix tape was produced from your mate. I remember giving my friend Josie (now Eskimosie at Twitter) a pile of TDKs and asking her to copy me some albums and singles she had knocking around. I still have some of them in the cupboard to this day.

Most times, the well off popular kids in the year above would go off down to Our Price and buy the album we were after, and they’d make their kid brother or sister a copy on tape. That would then be recopied by half the cool kids in our year before filtering down the food chain to me and my library dwelling mates.

It may have taken about 6 weeks before you got a copy, but when you did it was played to death with glee at having got an album for the price of perhaps a “get out of Gym” note (my speciality at school- sorry Ms D and Ms B) or in some cases two B&H on the field (The RNS Fag of choice). 

There was always one other alternative, but it required skill and determination, and parent’s who didn’t mind you missing dinner on a Sunday between 4pm and 7pm. 

The skill was the “Two Finger Manoeuvre” and only a few were blessed with enough accuracy to become Gods of recording the Top 40, minus the annoying bit where Simon Mayo used to talk about the song before playing it. Its a lost art I’m sure, but one which probably caused an RSI in many over 30s. 

I was reasonably good at this manoeuvre, and armed with a stack of blanks, so beloved that my Dad used to buy them for me in bulk for Christmas and Birthdays, and my trusty and equally crusty yellow Boots single deck and radio combo, I’d wait for the must have tunes to come on. I would also then have to quickly rewind to the end and attempt a fade out of the song to stop any tell tale signs of it coming from the radio. Especially since the yellow box had no fade out function at all. I still had it when I met Elder for exactly the purpose of recording off the radio, even though by then the front tape door had fallen off and you had to pries tapes out with a butter knife. It once went to fall from an open window to the road 3 floors below and both of us made a jump to catch the lead. 

Yes, before you tell me off as it was highly illegal to steal from the radio or copy from albums, I know it was. I remember my Dad entered me for a competition with TDK and I came third (winning more blank tapes), but as I wasn’t aware he’d entered me, I received an official looking letter from TDK and thought I was busted for illegal copying.

In my defence, why did they even sell these tapes? They must have known what we were all up to, surely? They must have known that not all of us were recording our own bands or thoughts onto their tape. 

The lost years of tapes and mix tapes, and recording the Top 40 as you were too skint to buy a proper Woolies version. How do kids do it now? Apart from Pirate Bay, of course! They can hardly pass round the Ipod can they?

Let me know whether you indulged in the mix tape at school, and what was your must have music back then?



Dear So and So: The One Handed Typing Edition

I felt compelled to join in with Dear So and So today, but as will become clear I apologise for any wonky spelling I may cause. Or swearing. Or general ranting.

Dear Twat at Wootton Way Shops

You sir, are a prime example of why Slough and Maidenhead are bat shit crazy places to travel. There I was minding my own business and walking back to the Mini. There you were, waiting to park and not needing to move until the other car vacated the space. So why on earth did you wait until I was halfway past your bloody Skoda to reverse into me? Why did you then stop and carry on reversing into me again when I moved out of your way? And finally, why did it take me shouting at you (the first time I couldn’t as it was one of those “wtf just happened?” sheer bafflement moments that render a person unable to speak) until you finally woke the hell up and looked in your rear view mirror?

Now, I’m no flipping expert here, but clearly neither are you, but when one reverses a car, surely the first thing you do is LOOK IN YOUR BLOODY MIRROR? To then causally wind the window down and casually say “oh, I didn’t see you”, then park up and bugger off on your business, well, that doesn’t cut it, as the Police will no doubt have told you by now. Along with telling you, dumbass, that you have sprained my bloody wrist. Thank the lord I didn’t fall down or you’d have run me over completely you twat.

May you never drive again, you total, utter, arse.

Her typing with one hand in bloody pain.

Dear People down at Wootton Way Shops

Seriously? Does no one care in Maidenhead? Now, I know that its not Chatham round here (thank the lord) but if ever there was a time I missed my home town, yesterday was that time.

Not one of you standing around who saw me get hit by Inconsiderate Unable to Drive Skoda Man bothered to ask if I was OK, or to tell him off, or to offer to be witness to the accident. Not one. In Chatham, it would have been the most exciting thing to happen since, well, since the last exciting thing to happen (and trust me, a cone being placed on top of a statue is cause for much excitement in Chatham) and every man and his dog would have voiced anger and opinion. Not here though.

On going to the Police Station to report the incident, the lady who took my statement said she was not surprised in the slightest and that no one actually cares what happens to their fellow resident round here. Nice, really nice.

So, again, thanks for feck all.

Her who got hit by a car but please go about your business like nothing happened.

Dear Olympic Torch Dude

We waited for 2 hours man in the rain. Mini was bored, Littlest kept moaning about missing his little mates. Why did you run through like you were competiting in the 100 metres against Usain Bolt? All that excitement and then massive let down.

Thanks for nowt.
Her with the two moany kids and the bored Irishman who didn’t care either way about the torch.

Dear Mini

Well done on a smashing report. Much better than Mummy and Daddy feared. You rock girlie, keep it up my little star.
Love Oo
Mummy x

Dear Littlest

Likewise, great report son, but the 5am wake ups? Gotta stop that Dude.
Keep it up buddy
Love Oo
Mummy x

Dear Everyone

I have a little competition I’d love you to enter, and its for a good cause. A friendly of Elder’s is helping out with this and I’d love all you to go and see. Its to win a chuffing excellent prize of a Kindle, so its well worth giving them your entry. Its at and the comp is being held until the 30th July by Wolverhampton SUIT. Go on, go enter!

You all rock you know.

Mini: Not Such a Fitting Nickname Anymore

Mini, as you know, is now 5, and to be fair I was always told that starting school has a big effect on a child and their life.

I wasn’t quite expecting her to change quite so drastically though. Until a few months back, she was still quite happy to watch pre-school TV on CBeebies, listen to nursery rhyme albums at bedtime, and generally was just the same old Mini. 

The changes have been subtle but rapid. She has lost those baby features of her face, the chubby cheeks have gone and she looks staggeringly grown up- her height helps and she is often mistaken for two or three years older than her age on a weekend. She is super skinny, mainly down to her being unwell for four days after Britmums Live, so we are feeding her up again, but you’d think she has hollow legs as, no matter how many rich dishes I shovel in, she has hip bones teens would kill for. Her hair has gone from just one colour to having streaks of gold and brown that a hair dresser would be proud of achieving.

Its not just the physical either. She is less likely to throw tantrums, but she is a big softy. I had to ban her from watching The Voice in the end because, when the chairs didn’t turn for a singer, she got very upset on their behalf. She cried at Toy Story as well. I now find myself checking the content of programmes just in case! ET, for example, has been deemed a total non starter.

She has started throwing in words like “actually,””fabulous” and “gorgeous” when she talks, 95% of these are appropriately used and its comical when she does use them- she told her brother he looked “gorgeous and super cute” when he came down from getting dressed at the weekend. 

Then there is her love of different music. She loves Jessie J (although the album was downloaded we had to remove certain songs. I didn’t really fancy her singing Do It Like a Dude). She has suddenly developed an appreciation of Justin Bieber (a cross I feel  I have to bear after insulting my parent’s ears with years of Take That) and has a poster of him next to her bed now. Which I have caught her saying goodnight to.

She’s not so nervous now, and fiercely gaining independence from us both. She went to a friend’s party on Saturday and usually wants me to stay. This time, she told me to leave and come back later. She’s also been helping when the Nursery children pop into her class to see what it’s like there for September when they move up a year. Her teacher, who once found her a bit noisy and babyish when upset now says she’s one of the most naturally caring children she’s ever met, always ready to dish out hugs whenever needed.

Sometimes, when she turns round, I hardly recognise my little girl as this child she is now. She is such a pretty thing and her face is changing as the baby features leave.

Along with the baby features, my little Mini is not so Miniature anymore. But its lovely to watch the changes.

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