Alvin and the Chipmunks- What New Hell Is This?

Mini, bless her, is sick.

The timing of this bug could not be worse, as today she was meant to have had the starring female role in her class’s play about the Peak District, had learned her lines and was all raring to go. Then the bug hit yesterday and it has been a never ending cycle of sick, even water makes her vom, bless her (excuse the TMI).

That was the end of starring role, right there.

Hence, we have her at home and have done for the last two days, and she has monopolized not just the sofa but the TV too (when her heads not stuck in a bucket so you kind of have to let her).

Despite being 8, she has firmly stuck to her old fave channels of Nick Jr and Nick Jr Too. Despite me trying to introduce the concept of older kids programming. Its a head scratcher, as she loves reading older books like Wimpy Kid and Harry Potter, but when it comes to TV she is still quite happy to watch Ben and Holly.

That I can tolerate. After binge watching, yes, I have my limit, but that is by far not as bad as a programme I was guilty of watching when I was her age but which now makes my teeth hurt.

Alvin and the (fecking) Chipmunks.

Shudder.

For starters, why have they made them look nothing like Chipmunks? They look creepier than they ever did in my childhood, like little boys with tails, a hybrid created by Dave who is their Dad (but who is fully male human, making one think as an adult that he must have had some questionable relationship with a lady chipmunk).

All levels of wrong for starters.

Not only that, but bar some other female chipmunk hybrids they go to school as the only bunch of chipmunk human strangeness and no one bats an eyelid.

I get the idea that they get up to mischief like most other kids TV character fodder as a way of educating the kids on being good or facing the consequences.

But, and this is where the teeth hurting comes in, did they have to do it with those sodding squeaky helium voices?

Double shudder.

All the way through the programme, the more irate or scared or naughty they get, the higher those balls voices go (as an aside, do Chipmunks have balls? Cos I’m assuming they must do, and boy must this three have been kicked in them a hell of a lot of times, but by who? Who knows?).

To top off this squeakier than a squeaky door on Halloween in a squeaky door factory voices, they sing at points during the show too, in the squeaky voices, which get even more squeakier (if that were possible) to the point I fear my teeth, zinging as they are, will literally give up and jump from my mouth for mercy.

Of course, my pair, love this programme most of all, my Sky+ is full of it, either watched ones or one’s they have all series linked ready for more parent related torture.

There were so many other cartoons of better quality (with less stupid voices) that they could have brought back- The Raccoons,  Duck Tales, Heathcliffe and Marmaduke, even Trapdoor and Count Duckula. Why the squeaky hell of Chipmunks?

It’ll be the bloody albums being re-released next. And no doubt those other squeaky voices beggars Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers too.

I am very mean, but I am hoping to slowly shove them in the direction of The Clangers reboot instead  if they must persist in watching shows which are far too young for them.

What shows annoy you the most? Did you love Chipmunks in the eighties?

Let me know, below….

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