Is It Just Me: That Actually Kind Of, Sort Of, Agrees with JosiDenise?

I could’ve actually put this post under the #BlogSchool tag as it’s a bit of both that and Is It Just Me to be fair.

Its (another) howling at the moon, bloggers up in arms moment in the old homestead of Blogland, this time an American blogger has managed to rattle the collective chains of many thousands of bloggers across the UK and US.

Her post “Dear Mommy Blogger” has certainly divided opinion, but for the most part the post has gone down like the lack of wine at a blogger event- not well indeed.

She’s not a blogger I was aware of, I don’t think many people were over here, but her click bait and rant fueled letter of anger towards all thing Mum Blog has certainly brought her front and center now.

I first heard about it on facebook but the site had been suspended, probably because it had been shared around 16.1K times and had countless and relentless traffic. I was given the abridged notes that basically it was rather derogatory to parent bloggers, especially those who review, so I waited to see if it came back online and prepared myself to be as cross as a lot of my peers.

I read it twice, at about 6.30am.

At first, I read it and read the angry bits, and the swearing, and the waffle bits and thought, well, this is a bit off isn’t it?

But, as I was only on my first coffee, I made another and read it again.

The point is, and I think the point that is lost due to the righteous indignation of people who don’t like being called out by anyone, much less a fellow blogger and the fact it is so in your face and directly put, there are several issues brought up that are spot on if you remove the swearing.

If you take out the fist shaking, in need of Valium and a nice sit down of it, I found myself nodding along and recognising some of the things she said that I had said myself many times in the last 5 years. All be it in a less shouting Harridan way.

I have often lamented the old days when we would comment because we actually liked a postย or had an opposing viewpoint to express politely to that in the post. I have noticed that, since DA reared its ugly, manipulative head and ruined blogging forever, as my blogs are either on WordPress or a vanity url which has shit DA, I barely get a sniff of a comment, even from people who regularly commented on every post I ever posted before. Despite the fact that my writing style and my debate and opinion fueling posts are still here, it seems that the DA rule has meant my blog is not worth bothering to comment on as it wont allow someone to get a hit off my virtual stats.

I agreed 100% that the idea that anyone actually reads every single post we post is a daft notion- even Elder doesn’t read my blog, his sisters probably don’t get the blogging thing so don’t, in fact, I bet the fact my DA here is WordPress and not therefore good enough to bother with means I barely get a sniff of the action anymore, unless I write something which could be a bit controversial (to Mumsnet) and then I get thrown a bone. I don’t check my stats, so I don’t care, or bother to care, as my blog is my space to unleash the stuff in my head so I would write it anyway.

I agreed too that, actually, sometimes going to upteen conferences, and following advice from “experts” (most of whom are self appointed) can be very tiring, very expensive and get you precisely nowhere fast. I have long since gone to conferences to see people I haven’t see since the year before, drink gin with adults away from the kids, get a goodie bag and then I might, might, just take home some knowledge in the form of notes which I will be unable to decipher or cant be arsed to implicate once I get home hungover. BlogOn was the only conference I’ve been to recently where I actually learned anything, and that was down to the fact it was done in a fun, non preaching way. However, a lot of bloggers are still caught up by these (again, self appointed) better blogging Gurus and their lists, awards and seminars that are better than another, similar seminar run by another, similar outfit.

The best person to know how to do stuff on your blog that works for you and is your style and niche? Is it these outfits cashing in on blogger outreach, working as middle men? Is it old skool bloggers who have had varying degrees of success? Is it online marketers who will make your blog work and get you meaningless numbers of fake followers?


Its you.

You write it, you put your personality into it. No one can know how you want to portray yourself online better than you.

I cannot even begin to imagine how needy someone would be to buy fake followers and comments. Seriously. I guess this is more of an American Mom Blog thing, as the stakes seem to be infinitely higher over there. But no doubt, give it a while and it will happen here too.

Once something becomes more drama, more cost, and more aggro than fun, that’s when we need to reevaluate if we don’t need to find a better hobby.

You only have to look at “issue threads” and comment rings where people are really pissed off with one of the chain for not commenting back. Why would you care? Because it hits your DA, that’s why you care, if you’re the type of blogger who possibly didn’t set up with the ideal of telling the web about your day or getting stuff off your chest. If I comment on someone’s blog, I don’t chase them over social media to bitch them for not commenting back. I just think perhaps they didn’t catch my post, or they didn’t have anything to add. And that’s fine by me.

Blogging should not cost more than a domain, should you wish to monetise your blog. It should not cost x amount of pounds for layouts, or y amount of pounds for fake followers and hits.

Yes, its frustrating when you read a blog where the effort has gone more into the layout than the content, and these blogs are the one’s I tend to avoid going back to.But never would I ever buy my way up the ladder.

When all this batshit crazy stuff in blogging has gone, I’ll still be here, tapping away at my blog, with it’s wonky layouts and its shit DA score.

So, whilst it’s hard to read what Josidenise says in her OTT, smack you in the face way, some of what she says is bang on the mark.

Perhaps its time for the Blogland massive to reflect on why it pissed them off so much?




11 thoughts on “Is It Just Me: That Actually Kind Of, Sort Of, Agrees with JosiDenise?

  1. Great post!

    I actually really enjoyed her post – it was one of the best I’ve read. Ok, it was angry, she was ranting, but actually, she had many good points. Some of it I agreed with, some of it I don’t, but that’s ok.

    I was shocked by how defensive so many bloggers got over it. I do the odd sponsored post. I make no secret of it. The money is handy and I’m not going to apologise for it and I’m not going to defend it either. But the fact that so many bloggers got all angry and defensive over it made me think that they’ve got something to defend, or maybe they take it too seriously.

    Not gonna lie, I do take blogging seriously. It’s actually a fair chunk of my income which has led to other things and I do now have a “pro” blog which shares my blogging advice – although it’s mostly telling people they’re stupid for doing Facebook like for likes haha.

    But that said, I blog because I love it and I got a bit lucky with stuff. I want to shake some of the falseness such as only reviewing positive, etc.

    Blogging needs to be real again and she’s kind of made me challenge myself a bit too! And that’s a good thing, right?!

    Ooops, ended up writing an essay, but this was a great blog.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Spot on Helen! I like anything that cause a bit of soul searching, and it did make me look at my style and wonder if I was one of those she was angered by. I review too and have had backlash for it when I started and now its become OK to do it and that’s fine too. I do however give honest constructive feedback, I’m not a fan of those that are more like an ad for a product and I certainly wouldn’t agree to put key phrases in, I have had brands turn me down for saying it will be constructive and may criticize their item but I am very much not bothered by those scared by that! Thank you for your comment ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Lorraine A Life Less Ordinary and commented:
    You know , I actually thought the JosiDenise blog was hilarious ๐Ÿ˜‚ I liked the fact she exposed herself as doing it “for the money, for the perks ” I wish most bloggers were this honest. I sometime feel my blog is inadequate because it doesn’t have a niche , I don’t review products I wouldn’t want in real life and I often bounce from subject to subject. But reading her rant made me feel relieved – I blog about what I want , it’s not consistent because I’m not a consistent person – it’s reminded me I don’t need to be like that to be successful it s not why I blog anyway.

    Plus , she has it spot on with the mommy bloggers – you do make me feel like my life is crap ๐Ÿ˜‰


    • Oh I’m known for being honest in my posts, review or otherwise, I blogged every terrible moment of my breakdown and am not ashamed of the bits that make me look less than a great parent. That’s to me what it’s about, a confessional where I felt I could relate to others and have them relate to me and not feel quite so much of a failure down to not having a life straight from the pages of Gina Ford. Some of it is very funny, true, I think it has been lost though in the anger and the gang trying to say it’s wrong and getting people who do have a lower opinion of bloggers to move along and not have more ammo. Blogging consistently or not, it’s really up to the individual. There is no set way of doing it, that;s the beauty of it- it’s not like the traditional media that is all the same stories told in either tabloid sensationalism or broad sheet pomp. Its nice to see someone say “this is for perks, not love”, I’d rather people where honest!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Exactly I blog about my bpd a lot and usually will blog how I’m feeling at that very moment….to be honest I find blogging like a form of therapy , it releases a lot of the stuff in my mind and I can move on. I don’t want to slot into a niche because thats not me – I’m not one individual thing , I’m comprised of so many parts and pieces and I want to share it all even if no body reads it x


      • That’s what I’ve always found the most attractive feature of blogging to me over freebies, days out and everything else. In ten years, whether stuff in my life or online has been good, bad, or inbetween, the support and friendships I’ve made down to the blog has been immense. I’m a firm believer in getting everything off your chest, and at times when I couldn’t or didn’t want to talk to those closest I could draft a post and I’d feel better. And I wholeheartedly agree- write whether anyone reads it if it works for you.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m so relieved to actually speak to another blogger who does , I havnt been blogging for long but I get so disheartened reading all about da , stats , niches and brands and really thought at one point I was doing it wrong and shouldn’t bother but I like blogging about my life …warts and all x

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I haven’t finished reading it yet because it was so long and had been taken down by the time I got back to it, but I certainly could see the truth behind her points.

    People not reading every single word in a post I agree probably happens. I’m one of those who has to read everything in a post but if I wasn’t I’d probably just skim read posts too. There are so many blogs that you’d have to be awake 24/7 to read even just your favourites!

    I didn’t understand what you said about people not commenting because of a low DA, how does that work then?


    • Basically, with DA, I tried to follow instructions and work out why comment rings were so highly regarded in certain circles and why people get so peeved when someone doesn’t comment back. I downloaded the bar for your browser, and for a month, I only commented on those with a DA higher than my own (not with this one but with my Family Panel link as it’s vanity url). At thew start of the month my DA was something like 11. By the end of that month, commenting on high rated DA sites, (without joining the comment rings but going through the links daily) it went up to 18 for the first time ever. Last month, I didn’t comment anywhere, not one link to my blog. It fell back to 11 again. So, if someone spots my post and thinks that down to my twitter followers or some such I must have a bigger DA, then they find it’s 11, or not a vanity url, then they just wont comment. You see it on lots of discussions when someone asks how to up their DA, they are told to download the Moz bar for their browser, and comment lots.


  4. I thought it was a great read. I shared it saying it was the best thing about blogging that I’ve read in a long time.

    I can’t imagine why people were annoyed with her for sharing her experience of blogging and marketing. Unless of course they felt it was about them…

    There are some incredibly good bloggers who get overlooked and others that are just okay that get everything, and do you know what? I don’t have a problem with that. Some may think it’s unfair or unjust, but to me it’s just life. If someone wants to get a little ranty and a lot sweary over their experience then so be it. Who am I to say it’s wrong?

    And that IS what’s wrong with the blogging world – too many people willing to condemn someone and not move on when they find themselves reacting to the piece they’re reading.


    • Exactly. Everyone does it their own way, and I have no issue with people doing better than me at all. I wish there was a fairer playing field sometimes but I think it’s swings and roundabouts and hopefully when everyone works out what a crock of easy to manipulate shit DA is that will change. Thanks for the comment ๐Ÿ™‚


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