Camp Bestival Countdown: Giant Astronauts and Celestial Dreams

Am I allowed to get excited yet?!

Camp Bestival kicks off in under a week’s time, but as usual that doesn’t stop Rob Da Bank from adding last minute attractions to the wonders on offer.

This year has a space theme, which should make for some great costumes during the parade on Saturday, and in honour of the theme, we’re promised giant astronauts.

Giant Astronauts!

Sure to please young and old, the Astronauts, made by Shipshape Arts, will be watching over the Magic Meadow.

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Standing at a colossal seven metres tall, they will be bathed in cosmic lights and dressed in shiny space suits for an authentic look.

These should be great for photo opps for all who encounter them, and are the perfect way to celebrate Discovery and Exploration. They may even encourage spacemen and women of the future?

For a no less spectacular nighttime must see, Celestial Dreaming is a must see and something I’m definitely going to make sure is on our list of things to do.

Featuring an interactive installation of glowing lights, it’s been designed by And Now to take you on a rich visual path of discovery.

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You can witness the infinite possibilities of the Solar System via the burnished light of 450 points of fire while you’re told stories of the galaxy on the way.

It is sure to be utterly breathtaking when the lights dim and yet again shows that from sun up to sun down, Camp Bestival keeps you entertained with art, drama and of course, a great lineup of bands and solo acts old and new.

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Is It Just Me: That Hopes We Can All Shut Up About the Second Referendum Now?

Well, for a while there, I honestly thought the hooray majority would win and we’d have another, unwarranted, undemocratic and pointless Referendum on Brexit.

Thank goodness that once and for all this nonsense has been put to bed, and no matter how many people wave placards, we won’t be going down that route.

The thing is, I don’t think that a fair few of those who were incensed enough by other’s having a democratic right to vote the other way to them, had thought it through.

I mean, what would have happened if they’d have gotten their way and got a new referendum after all?

We’re not talking a few people here voting Brexit. We’re talking 52%, around 17 and a half million people.

How do you think they will feel? Pretty incensed? Disillusioned?

I think there would be a fair few who would be quite rightly bloody angry that their vote suddenly isn’t as “important” as others.

We all remember the London Riots.

I remember them as friends were burnt out of their flats, simply by accident of living in Tottenham. They had nothing to do  with anything that made those type of folk go out and smash up large parts of London, Birmingham and other flash point areas.

Those who did get involved are now, for the most part, amongst the more sensible type of people who voted Brexit.

The people who feel, in some cases, that the UK, via being part of the EU, have been let down.

They are the some of the most disadvantaged in the UK- I’m talking the large swathes of Wales and the North of England who have begged for fairness when it comes to the distribution of wealth, education and employment opportunities and who have- for the most part, been ignored.

Those like in Kent where there was once a thriving Dockyard, and industry. And now, there is vast debt, unemployment and underfunded, failing schools.

Only in the UK would you have a system that advertises just how shit schools are in the area, and expect you to put up with it whilst they pump more money out of the UK and keep the rest for the likes of London and Berkshire, and to fund vanity projects like the Olympics and Millennium Dome. Or to fund, as we now know thanks to the long awaited Chilcot Enquiry, an illegal war. £20 million for a statue of Thatcher that we’ve never seen down to the handbag being wrong.

All whilst our NHS crumbles under the weight of underfunding.

Do you honestly think, that these people, who voted in their millions. Who have been called Bigots, and Racists, and vile (just a choice few of the lovely names I’ve been given for being a vocal Brexiter), would just take it on the chin and shut up?

Nope.

Why should we be the “silent majority”?

We took our voting cards, and we went to our polling station.

It was our Democratic, long defended right to do so.

But it would now appear that some people, by arguing for the second referendum so adamantly, would, by default, like to revoke this right for some of us.

The media keep quoting the “4 million signatures” on a questionable petition to host another referendum.

They’re less vocal of the fact it came out that the whole petition was hijacked by 4Chan, and a large amount of that 4 million signatures are from outside not just the UK, but the EU too!

I know it is disappointing for some. However, that is the very nature of a vote. I was gutted when the Tories got in in 2015, but I didn’t go placard waving and demanding a revote until I got my own way. Granted, considering the widespread investigations for electoral fraud which have since gone quiet after Cameron’s resignation and the Brexit madness, I possibly should have done.

I think Remainers should be more incensed by the lies spouted by the likes of Osbourne. Project Fear has hardly come true, has it? Yes, there was a period of adjustment for the Pound, but the Bank of England had already put a plan in place no matter what way we voted, and some amazing companies are already voicing the possibility of coming back to the UK, such as TVR who have shown an interest in moving production to Wales.

Tata Steel is now more likely to be saved as we can negotiate with who we want and those buying it can be assured they aren’t restricted to just trading with the EU.

You bring in a system where the voice of the majority is sidelined, and watch as all the anger, and annoyance online is suddenly out in your town centres and taking the form of rioting across the country. Most of us-myself included- would keep it peaceful, but not everyone would as they would feel let down, lied to and stamped all over by the minority yet again, and for some, it would just be a let down too far.

What would become of democracy after that? You cannot pick and choose when you take the first vote, so that would be out the window too, leading to what, mob rule? I certainly don’t want to think of the kinds of groups we’d be joining if we ditched democracy over staying in Europe.

Let’s stop voicing anger for not getting your own way, and put our efforts into voicing just how confident we are as a country that we are going to do well.

No matter how many times people sulk, we’re going, and that’s that.

 

 

The Real Crazy Summer Parenting Tip I Live By (Which Everyone Else Won’t Tell You)

OK, so I have something a little different for you today. I am writing this post for Britmums and Anchor (just a little disclosure for you there) but it’s not an advert so don’t all give me the stink eye please.

It’s scarily near to the dreaded 6 weeks holiday (in fact some of you may already have the holidays with you), and, as much as I love my two to bits, my God, they drive me crackers.

I have never been one of those parents who have to get the hankies out when they march back into school, more I’m reaching for them as the vast stretch of six weeks of moaning, eating me out of house and home, more moaning, fighting, more moaning, and bankruptcy looms.

Unless they have something to do for 23 out of 24 hours a day for the entire holiday, they will just bitch at me, or, worse, each other. They are so close in age but very different, and despite it being summer, in which case I will open the back door and send them out to play with water pistols, footballs, and chalks, the weather will always pee down for a good chunk.

So, what can you do when you’ve heard all the shouts of “MUUUUUUUMMMMMMM!!!!” you can physically take before you reach for the gin and have the authorities on your back whilst you rock in a corner?

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2014: the only time in a six week holiday when my two have been near any peace…..

In my house, I do one very simple thing that you too can join me in.

Do you have a shed?

If you don’t have a shed, you have a loo.

Make sure the kids aren’t actually about to harm each other, tell them that Mummy has a chore to do in the garden (for the shed bound) or needs the loo, and walk out to your chosen spot.

Once there, shut the door.

Make sure no child is in the vicinity- or neighbours- for the loo this can be hard as my two have a cute habit of banging constantly on the door in dire need of it the second I need to use it.

Then, if indoors turn on the taps to dull what you will do next:

Take a breath, and shout a swear word, as loud as you dare.

Take another breath.

Now, that feels better doesn’t it?

Its pretty frowned upon to swear at our little cherubs, of course, but my goodness you get close to it sometimes. It’s normal to feel like you cannot understand how that little bundle of joy has turned into a screaming, hitting, food stealing, pen on the walls drawing nightmare.

However, even the maddest of situations can be dealt with simply by having a minute to breathe.

Swearing loudly optional, of course.

 

 

#BlogSchool: Let’s (NOT) Talk About Crotch Rot

Flipping Nora.

You know gang, I thought I had seen it all when it came to blogging.

Bad backgrounds. OTT feminism.Blatant stupidity.

Yes I’ve seen so much in ten years, and some has led to fall out in a massive way enough to make the newspapers and some is just a topic for us bloggers.

It seems now that a lot of folk are dying to go viral. Personally, I don’t see what difference it makes. If I was to go viral, I would like it to be for something cool, like making a genuine difference to the world. Or for egging a Tory.

However, the levels of desperation to hit the heady heights of, well, featuring in the Daily Mail (who seem recently to get all their “wimins issue” Femail column shit from Mumsnet) have reached a new low the last 24 hours.

I give you, crotch rot.

No, not me personally, I don’t actually give you crotch rot, I mean a blogger has decided to post- with NSFW (Not Something For Any Sane Person Who Wishes To Keep Their Lunch actually) images of their latest Crotch Rot offerings.

Ewwwwwww-fucking-ewwwwwwwwwww.

I’ll let that sink in there.

Now, if you’d like the link then please God, why would you want the link, but I shall offer it if you ask on Twitter (@TheLazyGirlBlog).

The thing is, I can understand why they would blog about the subject, in a way. There is currently a rather daft hashtag called The Panty Challenge which, yes, does make some females think that having a little reminder of where the pants have been is disgusting.

But for goodness sake, do we really need that level of TMI on either side of the argument?

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

We know what it is.

We know what it looks like.

Men probably do not want to know what it looks like.

We do not need to get to the level where the last thing left, the last barrier to jump, the last line to cross, is photographic evidence of your dirty undercrackers.

Sorry.

I’m all for female solidarity, I am all for freedom of speech. I am also all for normalising something that the interwebs have made out to be disgusting or not normal so others can learn.

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Disclaimer: Not my actual pants.*

Yet this whole sensationalist way it has been handled, it just doesn’t feel like anything done in a way to help or educate, but more so to go “LOOK AT ME” LOOK AT HOW FEMINIST I AM! HERE ARE MY DIRTY KNICKERS! ON THE INTERNET! I’M SO BRAVE! LOOK AT ME!!!!!”

The blogger involved even starts by admitting that their vagina and talking about it has taken over their blog. I have, in ten years, never talked about my downstairs. I don’t know why you would want to?

They have then got very pissed off when people have suggested to them, on twitter, that there really was no need to have actual photos on the net, it was fine without them.

What did they expect? A love in where we all took pictures and uploaded them? What hashtag would they have used? What filter on Instagram is appropriate for pictures of knicker stains?

It just smacks of doing something purely for hits. Not for any merit or good cause.

Please, we’ve had the blogger who admitted not washing in the Daily Mail. We’ve had bloggers who will slag off a company for not giving them enough freebies. We’ve now had this.

Just stop.

I beg of you.

What’s next?

Going viral for the right reason is great.

But doing it purely for notoriety?

Just Say No.

(And buy some Vanish. That shit gets everything off).

*Photo credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net/Tuomas_Lehtinen