When Will School’s Learn, the PARENTS Are Ultimately in Charge?

The title may suggest that I think school’s don’t have any say on our cherubs, and that they shouldn’t discipline the kids when needed.

No, that’s not the case, in fact, it’s the opposite and obviously, if you read this post you’ll see why that’s not the case.

It’s two fold, that title.

Parent’s like myself give every care to our kids. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t live through my kids, they are very much individuals in their own right, anyone who has read for years will know that.

I’m not alone, in fact I’m glad to say I’m in the majority, who feel that our job as a parent is to make sure they behave, have manners, and respect and grow up to be the same in adulthood with their own children.

I’ve taught mine that they do have the right to an opinion, but they also know that others do too, and at no point should you ever bully or belittle anyone- much less use violence against someone- for having a different way of life or opinion or attitude to themselves.

That’s the difference.

Sadly, there is a minority, for whatever reason, of feckless parents who take no responsibility and who don’t discipline their kids. By their attitude towards ignoring the school, ignoring what is the right way to bring up kids or by refusing to instill a healthy, polite attitude in their offspring, they basically give their child the impression that they can do no wrong, no matter how extreme their behavior towards others becomes.

In that respect, I feel the school needs to do more- not with the child, but with the parent.

School’s have the power to intervene, they can report situations to government bodies or the Police.

In the case of our school, the bullying from one child is actually so bad that one thing he has regularly told Mini is something that current DofE guidelines say should immediately be reported to the Police under current laws protecting our country.

Sadly, they have dropped the ball, using the excuse most of last year that his parent’s aren’t “visible” in school and they have language issues, so their hands are tied on what action they can take.

I actually felt for the Head in that back in my school days if a kid was being an arse, the Head could give the parent a call with no issue.

So, it was upsetting that I felt nothing was  really being done, and, as a result, my confident, bubbly girl of the year before who was coming on leaps and bounds, started to do worse at school again and had an entire year where she fell behind.

It can be infuriating. You are meant to feel confident that they are there to learn and their needs will be met. But I started to feel the same towards this school with regards their response to a serious, violent bully as I did in our last school.

When she went back after the summer, this child immediately started to be nasty again. He is in a different class, but with this child, it’s lunchtime when he is at his worse. No wonder when the dinner lady in their playground does not one thing to discourage his violence, even if he has punched a child (as it’s not just Mini he attacks and other parents have contacted the school saying the same) in front of her, she blames the child who has been attacked. It’s a blatant case of discrimination and frankly, the fact that myself and others have brought it to the school’s attention means it should have been dealt with via the handing out of a P45.

What makes it worse is that our school has worked very bloody hard to improve from a Poor rating from OFSTED. We had them visit at the closing of last year, and we rated Good. What makes it disappointing is that one reason we didn’t get Outstanding was due to the OFSTED team raising concerns on the Lunchtime provision. They witnessed bullying happening and they also witnessed the “can’t be bothered” attitude of the lunchtime team. That alone made me feel that perhaps they’d all get the boot, but no.

So, why this post?

It seems that, if you’re a good parent, who turns up for school on time, with kids tidy and in their uniform and who engage with staff, they will do everything in their power to drive you bloody nuts and undermine you.

It’s like because the feckless lot dump their kids on the side of a busy road, illegally parking on pavements every morning before zooming off, they need to get their fill of patronisation on those of us who do actually give a shit for our kids and their future selves.

As a result of my worrying about Mini’s safety, I decided that I didn’t want her to go on the two day school trip in October. Yet twice now, the Head and other’s have undermined me, going behind my back to get Mini to wangle her way on it.

I was under the impression that it is up to ME and her Dad if she goes away for two days, to decide if she is ready for that (this is a child that down to bullying sleeps with her bedroom light on all night, has nightmares and doesn’t like sleeping in her own bed if she can sneak in with me, and who ultimately would lie through her teeth that she is ill to get out of school).

Now though, if I don’t allow her to go, down to the staff filling her head with “everyone makes friends on the trip and you’ll be left out if you don’t go when they come back”, Mini worries that she- who lets remember already lacks confidence- won’t have any friends ever again.

I wouldn’t be pissed off if they practised the same interference in those who need it. But they seem content to not bother, which means these kids carry on into adulthood with the same nasty attitude and behavioral issues and no doubt produce the next generation of little terrors.

My sympathy certainly disappeared when, the Mother who apparently could not speak one word of English managed quite well in the playground to come up behind me telling me to fuck off and how her son has the “right” to be nasty to my child and others as he “doesn’t like them”. That is her excuse. It both amazed me that she suddenly managed to have such a good range of English that she could get quite a few impressive colloquialisms in too, and that she feels this is a fine and dandy excuse for her son being a git to the kids every day. I almost think she expected me to say “oh, that’s fine then, let him punch crap out my kids and others than, poor little cherub doesn’t like them after all!”.

What is wrong with these people?

Well, they’re clearly reprehensible wankers who should never been given the opportunity to give birth in the first place as they are that thick that that is an excuse. They clearly don’t know any better due to a basic lack of intelligence.

The real people who should be ashamed, because they do have the intelligence, they do know better, is the school, who seem far happier to make excuses rather than actually using the powers at their disposal.

And who suffers?

Yes, my kids, suffer. The other kids who are being bullied, they suffer too. The kids who are trying to learn in class who are unlucky enough to be in a room with the disruptive ones, they suffer as well.

But, more importantly, the school could actually try and right the wrongs at home and teach these kids what is seriously lacking from their parents. Basic discipline. They need to be shown at school that their actions have consequences, because in the longterm, these kids will suffer too.

Yes, the school is there to teach maths and English and all those educational studies. But, they can also foster a better behavior level on these kids, they can teach them that behaving in the way they do is going to cause them to be in trouble- actual real trouble- and make them responsible for their behavior with more than just a move on a traffic light behavior chart.

The school need to learn to leave those of us who can parent our kids to get on with it, and actually, for the good of all the kids, the bully included, deal heavily with those who can’t.

In other words, butt out unless it’s needed, and when I make decisions for my kids, know I’ve done it with much thought and discussion and parent those who can’t be bothered to.

 

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