And Then The House Was Silent Once More

..And all the children went back to school.


Littlest has finally left the building, well between the usual school hours most kids his age would be out the house anyway.

Thank Goodness.

Seriously, before I get any mean trolls suggest I’m not very nice saying that about my son, I love him dearly, I do a lot for the child and I don’t begrudge it in anyway. I’m his Mum, and I always will do anything for him.

However, from the perspective of needing space from each other, and finding Home Ed a very hard slog to get used to, I am happy he is back at school were he should be.

From his point of view too, moving house was hard for him and Mini too, but for Mini, who straight away went into a school, and Brownies, and afterschool clubs, it was very difficult for Littlest to be stuck at home all day and hard for him to settle and make friends to replace the old ones.

I am glad I stuck to my guns and got him into the same school as his sister as I feel if we’d sent him to the not very good catchment school, he wouldn’t have been a priority for them to move.

He popped in and met his new class and teacher (who is a joy after the last one the kids had), and bless them, they were as excited to meet him as he was to meet them. They’d even made him a card to welcome him.

He has gone in today, a little nervous but mostly happy to be back at proper school.

The Home Ed cupboard has shut for business. I don’t advise anyone to not have a try at Home Ed, but it can be different depending on the child. It can also be hard to get them used to something when they are used to a school environment.

For us, it just didn’t suit.

Its very strange having no children in the house. I went off to the town centre earlier to search out school blue shirts (£20 from John Lewis for 4 as no supermarket has any left now- ouch) and kept thinking I’d left him behind.

It shall be lovely to get back to blogging and baking and I can finally sort out where everything needs to go in the new house too.

Happy at last. All as we should be.


…And Next I Decided, Actually, Let’s Fight Back

We’ve now somewhat, only just, settled into life as a half home Ed half usual school family. Its been very hard at times to get Littlest to adapt to working at home or, in the local park, or library.

The biggest hurdle we have come across is the size of our little house, which I was previously ecstatic about, is now creating dilemmas we could not have forseen.

Like my lovely through lounge diner.

It’s light, airy, easy to keep tidy, and cosy warm. What it isn’t, however, is separated from the rest of the house. Thus, its not a happy situation as of course a small room on its own would be much better as it could be turned over to home schooling. All we have is the through lounge and a big cupboard, which was previously going to house the overspill of Elder and my records (omg, Amazon for records, what new heaven is this? I love it) and the Decks. Its now the “School Cupboard” as Mini has christened it.

I kept thinking about the appeal though. Surely, surely there was a loop hole? Surely there was some way to show that it wasn’t fair, that they had already made their mind up other than the shockingly small amount of time it took for us to get a full three page write up with the decision on it?

Music Lesson-with a twist

I googled the Appeal Code I had used before about timescales. Maybe it could shed light on something or anything I may have missed?

It did.

There, in black and white, on their own Appeal Code page on the Diocese website, it said that, should new information be submitted by any party without first being seen prior to the hearing, the hearing should be closed and rearranged.

Yet, the Head did indeed use new information, from 3 different bodies in the appeal hearing, which she simply waved in the air n the form of paper with emails allegedly on it, without anyone seeing them beforehand.

I have since asked, several times, to see these emails, as we contacted those who she quoted, and found she was hardly honest about what they told her. Surprise surprise, we never have gotten to see them. Nor have the appeal authority.

No one adjourned the hearing. No one mentioned she had broken the rules. In fact, on looking through the code, there were  at least three sections where they have broken the rules.

So, I thought, fuck it, I’ll contact them at the Diocese, see what they have to say.

Basically, in Orgasms for Jesus language, they told me to naff off.

How polite.

They told me to go tell it to the Ombudsman. So I am going to. In fact, I collated all the facts, all the information, and put it to the Ombudsman.

Yes, they may say there’s little to do now. They may suggest a rehearing. But I hope that no matter what the outcome, the Diocese, and their attitude towards non Church members daring to want both kids at the same school is dealt with.

Finding things for our Autumn project

I have no great issue Home Educating Littlest, of course I don’t. The problem is its no fun for Littlest, he has made only one friend since we moved, he misses Mini all day and he would rather be in school. Its not something we decided to do as a family, we felt pushed to. And Mini is dreadfully jealous of her bro being at home with Mummy all day, something she’d love to do as she seems to think he sits around, does one worksheet and then watches TV or plays in the park the rest of the time.

Fingers crossed this all gets sorted out soon.

Littlest and the (Bloody) Baby Toilet Seat

Blog world, we have a problem.

Littlest, as you know if you’re a regular, is now 5 years old. He is just like your typical boy at that age- sometimes stroppy, into Lego, not fond of doing what he is told (by me) and at the stage when farts are still highly amusing, especially when shared with everyone else. Or planted on his sisters lap.

Considering some of the shit that goes down with his health, he is doing pretty well, meeting his milestones (not that that bothers me, I am of the school of thought that suggests kids do things in their own time and don’t meet some uniform way of doing stuff like some Health Visitors will chew your ear off about). He does OK at school, he still has quite a bit of time off, I would prefer he spoke up a bit more as he manages to answer Year 2 maths at home yet at school they think he’s behind, but, well, not a biggie.

There is one thing though, one thing that is an annoyance point and causes all out tantrums between Littlest, Elder and myself.

A lump of multicoloured, cushioned plastic that he wont let us throw away, and which, if he can’t find (like at 6.23am today) will cause a crying, snot filled meltdown.

His Baby Training Toilet Seat.

He has had this one since he was around 3 and a half. He had another before that but it cracked and went in the bin. Whilst the seat is kept cleaned and germ free, its just so unnecessary.

We managed to remove dummies, bottles and sippy cups. We managed to get rid of nappies pretty easily too. We don’t even have the safety sheet on the bed anymore.

This thing, though, this plastic thing, which, should you be half asleep or dying for the loo and don’t realise is still attached will render you stuck to the loo in need of a shoe horn, we have suggested is the last bastion of his baby age and now, being a big boy, he needs to confine it to history too, is just a no no for Littlest.

He manages to use bathrooms at school with no problem. He goes to his Aunts homes and doesn’t need it there. Our house? Not a chance.

Before you get ideas I have toilets bigger than standard, with seats big enough to render a 5 year old be cast within like the scene from Trainspotting when Ewan McGregor falls in, this is not the case. Its a normal, standard loo, just like anyone elses.

We have tried hiding it. We have tried this several times and refuse to give it to him, with the idea that, as with when a fussy eater wont eat a meal they liked the week before that they will eat when they are hungry, that, eventually he will be so in need of the loo he will just go without it.


He can last hours without going. Its a mystery how. And then, of course, we give in, because I think he is so bloody minded and stubborn that he would just do it in his pants to prove a point. Or end up with a terrible tummy ache and end up needing to see a GP.

Bloody hell.

We never had this with Mini, she was more scared of the trainer seat than the actual one, making the move from potty to loo simple and nearly hassle free.

So, Blog world, what do I do? Let him carry on and hope he gives it up naturally, or bin the thing and face the wrath of Littlest?

Answers below!

Dear So and So…It’s Been a While

I know it’s Wednesday and traditionally one is meant to partake of Dear So and So notes on a Friday, but well, I need to write some.

Dear Mini.

Sweetheart, do you realise the untold joy I had when I found out that I was to get my very own living dolly to dress up to make up for not playing with dolls as a kid have you? I imagined shopping trips, nail bar visits, and girl related laughs at films like Clueless and the like from my youth. 

It has started so well. I like watching you watching me when I am brushing my hair, or putting on my make up, taking notes from future reference. I like that we have girly days over to Slough on the train, and trips to the coffee shop. I quite enjoyed our help when I was dying my hair (and no, you still can’t nick the leftovers, no matter how cute you are or how many “but Perrie from Little Mix has it” excuses you give me).

I also love your individuality when it comes to having an opinion on what you wear, whilst not being bratty about it. Or not often anyway.

Until today. When I asked my Mini Fashionista, you who usually offers positivity on whatever I wear, even my “childish” moustache Nerd pyjamas, about a trouser suit I am eBay stalking for a posh event I’m off to. 

And you turned around and told me how you “utterly and absolutely actually hate that and don’t think you should ever wear it, ever”. 

You know, whilst I love your honesty, I would prefer it had you just said, “you know what Mummy, perhaps not, perhaps that dress you had for Aunties 50th but didn’t wear cos you bought that other one that ended up nearly flashing your boobs all evening”. But no. You just told me exactly what you think in a manner that joan Rivers would have saluted you for.

I do love you though sweetheart. 

Love Mummy, off to eat Jaffa Cakes to console myself 

Dear Littlest

Oh you are a one you.

From your ability to steadfastly refuse to read in front of your teacher, despite being able to do so at home, to your superhuman strength of knowing exactly what network is on what channel and what number it happens to be, you really do make me laugh.

And silently cry when you act like a bugger down to your meds. But thats cool

But please, my love, the new show you love. Its Phineas and Ferb.

Not, as you keep calling it, despite me telling you constantly, Penis and Ferb.

Why would a TV network call a programme after a willy? 

By the way, while you’re reading (or Mini is if you are refusing to), it was very cute how afraid you were of the storm. I’ve never seen you run in my bed quite like that and hide under my armpit before. Was sweet.

Love you too Baby


Dear Elder

I have had that flu too. I still didn’t go to bed though.

Man flu.

Get better soon though.

Love me

Dear Storm

You suck. I couldn’t get to London.

Bog off and annoy someone else next time


What are your notes this week? Let me know below 🙂 

Dear So and So, Mini, Littlest and Driving Instructors

I haven’t joined in with Dear So and So at Kats blog for a while, but felt compelled to today. Here are a few rants and musings from this week.

Dear Mini

When I ask you what you did at school that day, and you tell me “nothing” in that bored voice before asking if I have any sweets about my person, I expect you mean it was a mundane day. 
I do not expect to hear a day later via the newsletter that an Olympic  Hottie sportsman has visited, or there was a Bee Keeper and bees on display in the hall, or like yesterday there were flipping owls in the hall flying over everyone’s head for “educational” non Hogwarts reasons. 
“Nothing?” How are these “nothing?”

And please, be good at N’s party tomorrow. Social whirl being 5 girlie.
Love Mum

Dear Littlest

Being indoors with damp weather related asthma is not good cause to bite my sofa, my cushions, or worse still, me and your sister.

Especially when your sister is not at all happy with you after you fed the gerbils face paints and they both, within days, died. Mini has cried everyday for Dora.

 Behave you cretin.

Love you too

PS- No its not impressing me that you figured your bedroom door gate out. Neither is getting in bed with your cold feet at 6am.

Dear Driving Instructor (or De-structor as we now call you)

Cheers for naffing up Elder’s driving test. Thanks so much for not telling him you could quite easily use your licence number to get him a much earlier driving test, so you could rip us off every week for two months. Thanks for stressing him out by turning up 15 minutes late before his test. And thanks for not telling him anything of importance regarding his test, thus ensuring that despite charging us well over £200 since February, he had not a hope in hell of passing. How you dared charge him £75 on top for the day of his test (thats for one hour by the way) is indicative of how much of a money grabber you are. May you lose your licence.

Lady still having to walk the kids to school in the rain and with a miserable other half

Dear Beanshoots

You taste yummy, but if I eat many more of you, I may end up turning into a bean shoot.
I miss chips.

Her on a pre-Britmums Diet

Dear Wii Fit

Please don’t mock me too hard when I dust you off this evening

Dear readers

Hey you guys, you still rock right. I am nominated in them there Brilliance in Blogging awards, for Lazy Girl Cooks, and for this little slice of the web at Sainsburys. I would like an iPad, even more so than when I was nominated in some other rubbish last year. The laptop is getting old. Its on Vista. There are needs people in my home. Anyway, while you’re at it, I’ve opened up The Lazy Girl’s Guide to Looking Good, where you will find no size zero skinny minnies, no stupidly expensive articles, no hot pants, and lots of budget buys. So feel free to come say h there too.

You know I love you
OK yeah think I’ve watched too much Gossip Girl this week.