Mini and the Christmas List of Hilarity

Ah, Mini.

God love her.

If one day my daughter is not rich and famous I shall be very surprised. Looking at her Christmas list, which appeared as if by magic overnight on the fridge door, she’ll need a considerable amount of wealth.

Mini went off, with Littlest, to her Aunt’s house this weekend. They had a great time, seeing the panto and feeding swans over in Windsor, and it meant a nice bit of peace for us too.

So, I was quite surprised that, having been here over this weekend from 3.30 on Sunday, she had time to put together her list of must haves.

They are, as follows, in the order in which she put them (spelling mistakes are her own)

  • New Ballet Costume

Now, this I could see coming. I have to mention straight away that Mini does not have ballet lessons, as you would assume from the item being on the list. No, Mini is entirely “self taught”. She is never happier than when “doing her ballet” as a “performance” to whatever musical medium we are playing at the time. Be it Funky House or prog rock, she is quite happy to jump and spin round the dining room.

  • Temple of Air Jitsu Lego

Mini has become a massive fan of Ninjago, a Lego TV tie in about Ninja’s looking for some such nonsense or other. It started off as something Littlest liked and through the process of him watching this or Pokemon during the school holidays she got into it too. I like Lego toys, I had a selection as a kid, back when it was either a decent box of different coloured bricks, or Lego City which was more expensive. I had the former cheaper option but enjoyed making houses and penguins from it throughout the holidays.  The set that Mini (and Littlest) wants though is way over the £150 mark. Ridiculous. That and it will cause arguments as they won’t be able to work out how to set it up, and then bits will be lost too.

  • Dolls House Furniture
  • The Game of Life

No idea why she wants this, it’s like she read my Christmas list between 1988 and 1993. I’m not even sure they still advertise it?

  • Treehouse

We have no tree in our garden, or at least none whereby you could put a treehouse in it, we have a big old wobbly fir tree but it’s a) not ours and b) wobbly. I blame the Simpsons for this list item.

  • Books
  • Chalk

No idea why she wants chalk? We have a bucket in the kitchen of it. She has forgotten I bought it.

  • Clothes and Shoes

In Mini speak, this means “please may I have 95% of the current offering across the girl’s department of Primark and H&M”?

  • Stuff from Lush

She is still driving me crackers on the whole pinching my bath stuff, my make up and my perfume. She forgets she is 9 going on 10, not 18. See also the make up listed further down.

  • My ears pierced

Not a chance. There is more chance of her getting that bloody Lego set for £150 than there is her getting those done. I still think she’s too young, and anyway, they are banned outright at her school.

  • Make up
  • pencil case
  • Staitionary (written as she per her list)
  • A handwriting pen

This one is down to her getting enough Golden Handwriting tickets to mean she gets a Berol red Handwriting pen. She has been after one since September, and has joined 14 others in her class who have won one.

  • Pads of paper
  • a laptop and phone

Ha! No chance Mini. She had a very nice Nokia Lumia. Which she broke, having an argument over putting it away to do her homework and basically throwing it in a fit of angst at her dad, who promptly didn’t catch it and thus, crash. As for laptop, mine is getting a big black line across the screen from dead pixels, so she’ll get one when I get one (in about two years by my usual reckoning)

  • Colouring books
  • Money

The last bit of her list is the most hilarious. She starts off with £45 written with a crossed out line through it. She then put “£100 would be nice”.

As I said, I hope she’s rich when she’s older, because if I buy her everything on her list between now and when she leaves home, I shall be broke and in need of a loan from her!

We’re yet to have a formal list of wants from Littlest yet, but all he’s mentioned so far is Pokemon, Ninjago and Beast Quest books, so will be a happy chappy with those.

When I was a kid, I was much more reserved, although I do recall taking a felt tip pen to the Argos catalogue. I think I knew though that however many times I hopefully circled a Mr Freeze maker or a Yellow Teapot family, I wouldn’t be getting them. I certainly didn’t ask for make up or money until I was well into my mid teens.

9 is clearly the new 14 if my tween is anything to go by.

What is on your kids lists this year? Let me know in the comments.

And remember to tune in to on Wednesday between 12-2pm (UK time) for Lunchtime Live, where this week I want to know what your favourite Kids Tv Theme tune was. You can join in using the hashtag #RadioactivefmUK or by following me on twitter @TheLazyGirlBlog or @Radioactive_fm


Mini and the School Trip (Sob)

Its been a fair while since I’ve written about either of the Brats on this blog. Don’t worry, I never did lock them in a shed, they are still their nuts selves, but slightly taller.

Mini is now 9, and in the second to last year of Primary school. Can you believe it, we went to look at Secondary Schools last week. Madness.

When I started blogging 10 years ago, I had only just found out I was pregnant with her. This blog really grew up with her and Littlest. He is fine too- little bit of a health scare in the summer but he prefers me not to write about him anymore so that’s why he’s been absent.

Anyway, Mini is off on her first school away trip tomorrow.

I have always been the Mum rejoicing on the last days of the 6 weeks holiday, always been the one who has pushed the two to be independent of us and each other and to be individuals.


What a fool I was when they mentioned this trip.

At first it was Mini who didn’t want to go. She was feeling a little negatively towards school at the time so said she was quite happy not to go off on the trip and we respected her choice.


Mini, the Selfie Queen (even with a digital camera)

Then, of course, as her mates- the gang of girls affectionately known collectively as “The Awesome Girls” (or the Annoyance Girls as Littlest secretly refers to them as)- all kept making plans for epic selfies and midnight feasts, she changed her mind.

Which, to be honest, is when I started to feel less than positive about it.

She has been away a few times to her Aunts in the summer over the years. She’s had the odd night away at the other Aunties houses too. Its not like she has never been out of my sight.

She has never though gone off with anyone not directly related. Not once.

She doesn’t really do sleepovers, we’ve never said she can’t, but I think there is a sense of her not wanting Littlest to feel left out. Its more difficult for him to go off to mates homes for tea, let alone a night, as his main illness is always at it’s worst at night time. It’s a lot of responsibility to put on someone.

I have chatted to the other Mums who I know well. I had hoped that at least one would feel the same so I didn’t feel like a total arse.


They are all well up for sending the kids off, and have reassured me that she will be fine, she wont even notice she’s away, and she will come back full of stories and adventures (and the aforementioned camera full of selfies).

All of which I don’t doubt. She has gone on the offensive in her attempts to show me she will not starve over two days. Suddenly, she is no longer fussy after 9 years of refusing to eat anything other than pasta and chicken, or pasta and gammon, or noodles, she has willingly eaten curry. She has eaten Chinese. She even ate her nemesis- a roast potato- without complaint.

She has shown how she can quite happily get her own hair washed and brushed, thanks very much Mum now bog off while I nick your body spray. She even- now sit down for this bit- tidied up her own room the other day. Without being asked. (Told you to sit down).

Elder’s way of helping my choking up with tears every time I think of her being on the trip (hence the sob of the title) is to call me a giant pussy. Arsehole.

I’m not going to stop her going, I’m not that bad, but I think I may be in need of a flask of gin tomorrow when she goes. She is all packed, we have hidden a magazine for her and we’ve not had the slightest wobble from her at all.

Littlest is not even slightly fussed, he already has plans to pinch her bedroom whilst she’s away (I’ve had to point out she is coming back after two days and will kill him should one bear be out of place).

I am going to cry at school and look like such a sad act. I need to get across the road and round the corner tomorrow. Or I shall never live it down.

From the fellow Mums or my daughter should my sniveling embarrass her.

Have you kids been off on a trip? Or do you dread it like me? Comments are open 🙂

Mini, Nearly 9 and Doing Fine(ish)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know all Mum’s say the same, but bloody hell, how the hell did she get to 9?!?!

When I was 9, I was:

A gigantic geek

Wearer of a dodgy wonky fringe

Busting Deirdre specs (RIP Anne)

Still playing with Barbies.

Not so my social media loving (not so much a) baby doll.

Mini is a fully fledged member of the new generation where cool stands for something very much not cool or what it was when I was 9 (in 1991, fact fans). In her gang (The Awesome Girls) cool stands for “Constipated Over-rated Old Lady”, which is what I am told with a sigh anytime I tell her that something is cool.

I am definitely cool in her new meaning anyway. Not in a 1991 way at all.

Elder and I tried to decide what on earth to get this creature which was once quite sweet and is now loathe of anything we do or say as we are old. She is like I expected her to be at 14, when they can blame hormones and stress of Secondary School. I am not alone in feeling that 8/9 is the new 13/14. Most of the girls in year 4 now go feral the very second they cross out the door in Year 3 in July. It certainly was true of Mini, who went to Camp Bestival last year as a fully functioning little girl and lover of pink and girly stuff and came back a stamping, moody, door slammer extraordinaire.

We were stumped. She doesn’t like much that she did last year.


A very Mini, aged 1

She does slyly play with Barbies. And dolls. She just thinks we don’t realise. She wouldn’t play with them in front of mates though, in an attempt to be grown up, and cool, but not cool, cool in a 1991 9 year old way.

See, it’s all very confusing. Its like text speak, but the annoying child version of secret words and nudges.

We asked whether she wouldn’t just like to have some money and buy her own stuff.

It would seem she would indeed, being that what I buy her is now so disgusting and not awesome that I cannot be trusted to pick her clothes anymore.

I have, it would seem, created a monster. An over opinionated, prone to epic hissy fits, girl.

Then we had her hair recently.

I have banned fringes. They are the bane of my life, since my own wonky incarnation of the buggers. Mini had a fringe via the fact she was a little girl until I grew it out. Since 4, she has been fringe free, and owner of longish hair (except that time in 2012 she got into Jessie J and cut it herself to shoulder height).

I asked her Dad to get her a trim.

Big mistake, as he is rubbish at saying no. So, despite my no fringe decree, she came back with hair shorter than ever, and a bloody fringe. I now have to keep this straight and tidy. I am wonky. Its never going to happen, and the last time I let Elder cut it when she about 3, it ended up looking like Spocks.

To make matters worse, she then cut another chunk off herself off the sides.


Mini, about two weeks ago before her Talent Show

All her friends say they love her hair- all of them are, one by one, having fringes put in. They are a fringe army, a hormonal bubble of half playing tag, and half making up nicknames for each other which I, personally, am not allowed to use.

It’s quite scary, actually.

It’s how I felt I would be out of touch when she was a teen. But then, that’s standard. I always had a deep mistrust of the Mums who desperately tried to keep up with us in our teens, fearing they would fish for info then grass me up to my Mum for my smoking or wearing Zoe’s heels when I got to her house and putting my sensible options in my bag all day. Or the one’s who would try and join us at the Ice Bowl- annoying by default of “we don’t want a Mum there as we can’t try and look alluring to the older boys” and of meaning we had to actually pay to get in, not have one of us pay and then the rest sneak in and get boots as we knew the boot room girl.

I kind of thought at this age it would still be all hugs and crafts and her thinking I was the best thing ever.

I think I rate around 20th in her list of girls and woman she likes the best, behind all of Little Mix, several characters from Jessie, my nieces and all her mates.

It remains to be seen what she buys with her Birthday money.

We are taking her out Sunday, and her (stupid) Dad said she can do with it what she likes. Forgetting that when she buys day glo Minion leggings and Little Mix crop tops, we have to walk down the street with her.

The one thing she wants to do though I have put my foot firmly down- ear piercing. No amount of own birthday money is going to change my mind of that.

What about your 9 year old? Is it just a Berkshire thing? Is it just a Mini and her awesome girls thing?  I am the only one who thinks Awesome Girls sounds like a band from the Jem Starr doll of my childhood? Let me know in the comments 🙂



Prom Related Issues

Mini is in Year 2- I know right? It seems five minutes ago that I was writing about her first day of school, and now, at the end of this term, she leaves to go to Juniors.

Well, actually she (and Littlest) will both be leaving anyway, and if they were already at school in Earley they would stay put and then this whole post wouldn’t be here. But we’ll let that slide as, until September for Mini at least who finally got a school place, they are stuck in Maidenhead for school.

At their, soon to be ex, school, they have a Leavers Disco come prom thing.

Now, as you know if you read regularly, Mini likes an excuse to go all out and dress up. She has known about the disco since December. And, as a result, she has plans. Dress plans, and hair plans, and having her nails done plans. Don’t even ask her about shoes. Of course the “who is going to pay for this plan” is firmly in my lap. Or, by the time I’ve finished, in Elders.

The problem is that, she gets so into it that my “never did girl things as a kid as I liked cars and bikes and was too tall and gawky and not blonde” side comes out and I tend to join in and get slightly caught up in the excitement too. 

Hence, when we have gone to Slough the odd time, and walked past a shop whose window is full of big dresses with sparkles, and sparkly shoes, and tiaras, we have both ohhed and ahhed and made mental notes of what we think she should wear. 

I did chat with Elder about a big dress, and perhaps a limo (shared with some other parents). He did that look he does where he raises his eyebrow, looks sceptical and then simply says no. And no doubt wonders if it is him who is the ex-traveller and if I’m not secretly ex of traveller stock too.

I will admit, I loved some of the little girl dresses some of the kids on there wore, the kind of white frothy communion dress. I was in love with how happy and excited the kids were on that show to be wearing a big, fancy dress. They looked like they were living out their ultimate princess fantasy. I fail to see what is wrong with that if its for one event once.

As long as this is for one night only, and not taken to the extreme of spoiling a kid every day with horses, toys and stupid designer labels (apart from those craftily bought from eBay), then I am all for it.

As, of course, is Mini.

I am happy to be able to do her hair and nails myself. After the purple hair chalks at the disco, curling her hair with my Angel Curl wand and dabbing a bit of pink nail polish will be tame in comparison. 

She has already spotted that primark have some nice glittery shoes which, granted will probably fall apart after two wears but cost about a fiver.

The Limo isn’t happening down to the move as it would cost loads too much to pick her up first from Earley and then everyone else from Maidenhead. Which is a shame but we can always put some ribbon on the Mini (if Elder doesn’t do the look again and the no).

Its just the dress t go and I’m tempted to call up my old mate eBay for one, as I’m sure these types of dress are worn once for a party or do and then sold on.

What do you think?

Would you allow your daughter to instigate Princess mode? Or send them in jeans?

Comments below guys 🙂

Mini and The School Play

Mini, as most know by now, is a bit of a diva. Kind of like an X Factor wannabe mixed with a theatre school kid, but with added confidence to boot.

So, being given a good part in the schools year 2 play was a dream come true, which could only ever be seconded by the possibility of snogging the girly looking one from One Direction.

Mini was chosen to play the Rainbow in a play called The Wonderful World of Weather, and had a couple of lines at the end of the play, along with, as we thought, singing “I Can Sing a Rainbow” with her class.

We went to see the performance on Monday afternoon, Mini had a rotten sore throat all weekend and Monday morning, so she was a bit nervy that her voice might go but she went to school regardless and we had told her to do her best, as always.

Mini on the left with her bestie friend “O”

Well, the play was great, every kid in the entire class had a part to play, the scenery had been made by one of  classroom assistants and her family, and the costumes by another (although Mini made her own out of a stripey Monsoon dress and raiding my bangles box for colourful bead bracelets), and they were all weather related and very convincing.

It has to be said, I’ve watched her class grow from timid, tiny 4 year olds to the confident, funny 7 year olds they are now, and every one of them got their lines spot on. Special mention has to go to two lads who danced to “Hot, Hot, Hot” and “Ice, Ice Baby”  as they were utterly hilarious and seemed to dance in a more exaggerated fashion the more us adults laughed.

The use of songs met with Elder’s approval too, with Bob Dylan, Johnny Nash and songs from Mary Poppins and Singing in the Rain featuring.

Soon, it was he finale, with Mini front and centre on the stage. She nailed it (yes, I’m biased of course, but there was barely a hint of nerves or croaky throat to hear), and we got a surprise as the first bit of her song she sang on her own.

She lapped up the applause, bowing as she went back to her seat. She sang so clear and despite sometimes singing a bit too high pitched (I’m forever telling her to sing low enough that adults and not just dogs can hear her), she was bang on pitch.

She even managed to critique herself, watching the video back, that she was slightly ahead of the backing tape.

All in all, it was emotional, and I’m very pleased that this year she wasn’t hidden at the back.

I think we may have to find out about drama clubs in the area as she seems to have no fear when it comes to singing and dancing like a loon. She has far more confidence than I ever did at that age (or after) and I do think its something she wants to pursue herself.

I am one very proud Mummy, that’s for sure.