So, this post comes from two separate causes but its a situation, as a fully fledged female that I’ve encountered many times in the past.
Why, as women- and it seems most are guilty of this in varying degrees, feminist or not- do we seem intent on destroying, bad mouthing, and darking off (down with the kids term there) each other?
Is it not enough that we already, despite having a (questionable in my view but there none the less) female PM, and despite having a female sovereign, have to fight against male dominance in the work place and beyond?
And what happened to the 70s emerging ideal of all girls together, fighting for what is right? It seems we have lost it.
I started to get the idea for this post a few weeks back, but as I am currently after the title of “most laziest blogger who barely manages to blog at all these days”, I never quite got round to it.
I saw a post on Twitter from someone I follow who was calling out Zoella for her latest video.
Now, I know of Zoella. I’m not someone who watches her, it’s much more Mini’s thing (although she prefers Gamers like Pat and Jen and Dan TDM). To my mind, as someone shit at fashion who has basically dressed more or less the same for the last 20 years, I’m not her target audience.
I can admire that she has done incredibly well, I mean, bow down to her and her millions of subs and massive house, all off the back of being engaging and opening boxes of clothes on camera with a smiley disposition I’ve never been one for a camera in the face, and have left that firmly up to my far more confident daughter.
The video in question was where her boyfriend- also a very successful Youtuber- had been tasked with buying her an outfit. I think it was to show that guys are good at women’s clothes too and wont dress us like strippers (actually, Elder has always been good at this, far better than me in fact).
My issue with it- and I was far from the only one to voice this, was her use of “oversized” about a size 8 jumper.
Now, as I say, Mini is ten, and many of her viewers will be of an age where hearing their idol, and this can be anyone, not just Zoella-suggest a size 8 can be “oversized” could have a negative effect. Especially since in itself size 8 is tiny (I think one of my thighs may be a size 8 alone. I was once, for the record, a size 8, but I was incredibly unhealthy at the time and now I’m curvy size doesn’t fuss me anymore as much as it sadly did then).
My comment though had nowt to do with my size, or jealousy of her being tiny of size, or anything else other than a Mother’s concern that perhaps, certain terms should be thought out before being used. Even myself as a blogger has to be careful what I say and I know from bitter experience that sometimes words you intended in good faith can be taken very much the wrong way and cause murder.
The issue I had, was that, (and this is looking back a couple of weeks later after pressing mute and finding it’s still being retweeted now), and with Zoella’s seeming to back it, that she spotted my tweet- despite there being many others, perhaps down to my follow number or the fact I blog, I don’t know, maybe she saw it as a blogger attacking a pesky Youtuber and proceeded to be rather off with me.
That I could handle and tweeted her back saying you know, just be careful what words are used, there surely would have been a better word than over sized.
She very much, I felt, played up to this awful blogger (me) daring to call her out, and her fans, and I thought Directioners were feral and despite my over a week saying, you know, you are aware my point was intended well and there was no malice in it, please call off your attack dogs love. She didn’t. She ramped them up.
Now, she is far, far more successful than me. As I say, good luck to her on that. But you can’t help now wondering if this success has been on the back of setting out to destroy others who dare to differ from her narrative? If I was to see a follower of mine tweeting me included in a dialogue that their child should be removed from their care as they are clearly a shit mum who is damaging their daughter, I know for a fact I would not be impressed. But Zoella ignored it, choosing instead to carry on bitching me.
The result? My daughter has now removed her Zoella posters from her wall and peeled off the stickers from her bed, no easy task as the bed is covered in them. She lost a fan because my daughter sees her as being anti girl. And surely that is not the message and persona she wishes to portray?
Another phenomena is the Feminists on Twitter. Not all of them, some are great, they live for rights for all women and they are a joy to watch using social media to further their voice where once their only option was marching here and there with a loud hailer.
It seems some though feel that to be truly, 100% up the wimin, they have to be disgustingly rude and abusive about anyone with a penis being on twitter and doing well at it.
One such Femi-nazi is so disgustingly anti male that, should anyone in possession of a fanny back up a bloke, we too are raging against the wimin sent to protect us and should be scorned, Handmaid Style. Or told our son, who is 8, might turn out to be gay and what would do then? (With a heavy emphasis on snark).
I had to laugh as did others at this one. They really do need to put down the Female Eunuch and take a heavy dose of good old reality. That or get off the booze.
For the record, as I told this tit, I would not give two hoots if my child, either of them, were homosexual. They don’t stop being my child because they decide to fall in love. I can’t speak for all of humanity as I am sure that even in this day and age you still get twats who feel its wrong. However, I’m not one of them.
You know, what with, I don’t know, being bi myself. Being involved with a radio station run by a lesbian couple (married and everything), with one DJ who dresses up in drag quite often. To me, I care more about what tunes they are playing this week and where I can get my mits on them, not what way they swing. And likewise, I doubt very much they give a shit about my preference either.
They then suggested that “Only men can rape”.
Which really made me and others cross. What a crock of shit. Easily disproved shit too.
As I said, this no mark is far from the communal voice of Feminists, no doubt, and she has now, as all good twats do when they get beat for making ridiculous statements, blocked us all.
Yet how can you proclaim to be for women, but bemoan women having males they get along with, or for being pro-LGBT rights? Why seek to be on message for women’s rights by destroying the rights of women. Ironic or what?
In fact, I put it to her, her type of Feminist has done more to ruin women’s rights than men have.
Which leads me on to my final point, Taylor Swift and her “reputation”.
Now, I’m probably not a classic T Swift liker. I know some probably think being a DJ I would be the last person to appreciate some (not all) of her tunes, but actually (sorry RA Family) some are classic, well written and intelligent pop and of all the shite my daughter listens to, her’s is far from the worst.
However, the new song is great, its a bit dance led in the bassline (look at me, getting all technical). The video? Not so much.
Why? Why does she have to set out to be such a bitch about other females?
Taylor, like Zoella, is successful, probably one of the most successful in her field. She has money, fame and fans a plenty, and she is good at what she does.
So why on earth does she have to try and slag off Katy Perry (who I’m not so keen on musically, to me she’s more tits and arse and bubbly persona but again, my daughter loves her) who isn’t in the same popularity league as her? She makes her into a supposed threat that she is paranoid about snapping at her expensive and talented heels. Surely , if she’s not keen or they fell out big time, the better, more intelligent path to show she’s not bothered is to ignore it and let Katy do daft shit songs about it like Swish Swish? Be classy. Rise above?
As for her clearly slagging off Kim Kardashian- someone very few people take seriously despite basically being financially sound off the back of having a big bottom (more power to a fellow huge bum girl), using something which was horrifc whether you like her or not in the Paris robbery is just completely out of order. Especially when it’s to score points.
All she has succeeded in doing is making me feel like she needs to grow up, and again, rise above. Don’t play the victim (as she points out herself in the video). I’m all for self expression and the fact she does show differing versions of herself over the years saying she’s moved on is fine. Self awareness never hurts anyone and will gain you respect.
But the whole doing it to others? Nope. Not on board with that one.
Women, we are so much better than this. I see it in blogging all the time. I have seen it in the playground. I dont see it with the Dads though.
We will never be taken seriously if we don’t promote each other, if we don’t respect each other and by default ourselves.
Stop being bitches!
How can we fight the power if we are too busy fighting amongst ourselves?
There are plenty of people just waiting to bitch us for it. Let them find something else to moan about.
And leave the back biting, snipping and lack of respect in the bin.